fuck o_O.. :D

It's a new year. So why aren't I happy? Why do I feel empty, alone? Why does it seem like I always help people, but they don't help me in return.. I feel like I'm being used. No one truly cares. Seems like I can't be helped. I'm broken. From all of these years that have happened. Almost sixteen years. I just can't believe all of this shit happening.. I don't understand anything anymore.. I don't know who I am, but I want to know. I just don't know to find out. I feel like a piece of my heart was ripped out the moment everyone left.. Or did I leave? Am I leaving everyone? Or are they leaving? I honestly don't know. Am I pushing them away? I'm scared. That much is known. I don't even know anymore. I feel hurt, betrayed, beaten, robbed, misunderstood, confused and just, I don't know anymore. FUCK! Why can't I just disappear? Can I just escape? Can I just run? Can I please? God, just get me away. Let me escape life. Just let me.. run? Escape? Hmm, I don't know what is wrong. I wish I did, but I don't. Is that bad? I'm trying to cheer up. Smile! But it's hard, but I'm trying. Yuck, I hate this feeling, but I can't do anything about it..

/I don't wanna waste one more minute in this lonely town/ I don't wanna waste one more second figuring us out/ I just wanna run away/ escape to a brighter day/ i wanna know who you are/ i wanna know who i am/ can't you see that's the part of my that's holding me back/

i should finish that song. :]