Life is hard, but we have to maintain our precense. We have to realize what is right, and what is wrong. Learn about ourself, as we struggle through life. Right ? Well, i'm struggling, which is well known. I'm making new friends. Starting over. What happened in 2009 is forgotten. They aren't nor worth my time, if they disappeared like that.
2010 is a new year. I'm becoming a new person. A better person, for myself. So i don't get walked over. So I don't get hurt as easily anymore. I'm not going to be vulnerable. I'm going to be the bitch i was in 8th grade. whether people like it or not. sorry :) i'm just learning about myself. and i like having my attitude. don't mess with a bitch xD
anyway, people are driving me nuts. but i have some people i absolutely adore <3 the patio, are driving me nuts. they can't let it go, now can they ? i tried so hard to be some of their friends. but it didn't work.. ;| and i'm not going to keep trying. i tried to many times already. the kids i hang out with, i adore. they are funny, they make me smile, and they actually listen to me when i need it.
kristina, macy, randy, evan and josh are my best friends, always <3 well better be D:< lmao.
michael, alex, trisha, valeria, ashley better be my best friend as well always <3
okay o.o
numberrrrrrrrrrrsssssss :D sorry bored moment o.O
1.) fuck you. you think i'm not over it ? you are the one not over it, if it bothers you that i talk to your ex. once again, i repeat, fuck you~
2.) i can't even begin to explain you. you truly are my best friend. i'd be lost without you.. it sucks you live in australia. i miss you.. come home please ? i need you now, more than ever.
6.) i can't, i can't try anymore.. i can't. i'm alone, and it scares me.. but i hate being alone, and being close to someone scares me.. what do i do ?
7.) how come i'm the bad guy, when i was the victim ? how come i lost you all, when i knew you first ? how come i want to be friends with you all, when it seems like you all hate me ? when did things start to change, how come it changed ? when ? and how come ?
8.) struggling is the key. life is hard, yes i do know that. i've been through hard times. but never something this hard. everyday is a challenge. a challenge i'm beating. so why suddenly does it feel like i'm back at the beginning ?
9.) i need you to tell me its alright. i need you to promise it'll all get better. i need you to say you'll never leave me at my weakest point. i need you to never hurt me. but i don't know who you are.
12.) i know not to get my hopes up so high . but every smile you wear, everytime you are close, something, just something inside me gets happy, and once again, my hopes get raised, little by little, every single day.
17.) you can't even begin to understand how much i love you. three years almost, you've been my best friend. may 16th, 2007 is when my life started to get better. because you came. you saved me so many times. i fucking love you best friend. always.
19.) "never let anyone tell you, you can't. not even me.." -the pursuit of happiness :)
20.) you don't understand. and you never will. you will never possibly know how much it hurts me to see you cry. to see you hurt. and maybe that is why i push you away it seems. because i hurt people. and you are one of the last people i want to hurt. i'm sorry. but you'll never understand what you mean to me.
21.) stay away, and never come back. okay ?
22.) i need you to come back. tell me everything is going to be okay. i need you now. don't leave like you did before. it made me stronger, so thank you. but i want you back. don't leave again, please ? i need you, to act like a dad to me. like you never did.
24.) you know me. far more than i know myself. you've stuck with me since sixth grade. through all the tears i made you produce. through all the anger, all the stupid and pointless arguements. you stuck through everything. thank you. because you helped me when i needed it. i love you best friend. i'm not allowing you to leave. sorry.
29.) hello, you might want to get the stick out of your ass, and realize i am, in fact, better than you.
32.) never thought it's happen. you left. when you shouldn't have. but you did. for years. many years. but now you are back. and i'm mad at that. but thank you for coming back.
33.) i think, i think, just, just maybe, i'm the one who cares more than you do. i think that maybe i'm not your best friend. i'm not there, unlike her. i think just maybe, just a little, that it hurts.. just a little..
37.) don't leave. ever. okay ?
39.) i have a feeling you don't like me. it sucks. because you'd seem like a good friend. despite what that little punk says. so can we try and be friends ? because i'd like that..
40.) you taught me a lot. and i lost you. but i'm going to regain you again. same girl i was in eigth grade. i must regain her. i have too.
41.) i'm lost for words. i never know what to say. so lost in your eyes, that i'm afraid to look. no matter what happens, i can't afford to lose you. i'd rather not let you go.
42.) why does it seem like the world is just beginning when i'm in the same position as yesterday ?
44.) i reread the poems and feel a lot of sadness come. i prepared myself for this, so why does it hurt this much ? i'll be fine soon, right ? oh well. it's life. why does this hurt more than when blake dumped me ? i'll continue to fake a smile around you, when i feel alone.
45.) i lost. i must accept that fact. but why is it so hard ? i knew i was going to lose.. so why do i still think i can win ?
46.) a face won't show, what the heart truly knows.
